Insta-Blush

Here are the seven words in the English language that make me blush instantly. Typically, any form of the word (except abbreviation) has the same effect. I even struggle to type these. And yes, there is definitely a common thread here. I never got much past 6th grade in terms of maturity.

The BIG Seven

1. Brassiere (but not bra)
   
2. Copulate
3. Ovary
4. Hysterectomy
5. Masturbate
   
6. Intercourse
7. Vagina
   

Angels and Puberty

Recently, death has been going through Hollywood like cheap sauerkraut. Trying to keep up with the celebrity passings would be a full time job...which is way too much work for me.

However, absolutely NO worthwhile blog claiming to have a television theme could not post a thought or two about the passing of Farrah Fawcett.

Charlie's Angels hit the airwaves about the same time I hit puberty. This coincidence was likely a gift from above to help me through that difficult period of time. Early on, I was drawn to the show, but also felt a bit embarrassed. Interestingly, at the time I had absolutely no idea why.

Of the three angels, I was drawn to Jill Munroe. Her character was far more developed than the other angels.

I fondly recall having many a heated "who was hotter" argument, Jill vs Kelly, with friends. The arguments typically ended with me saying, "you are just really stupid". Check and mate. I was always a tremendous debater.

Anyway, in my early teens, I tended to wear the same clothes for multiple, concurrent days. When something became my favorite, it was worn with great regularity. So, when I was given a t-shirt with THE picture on it, my dressing cycle was greatly altered. My previous favorite shirt, the "I'm With Stupid" shirt was replaced by a lovely, somewhat chilly lady.

Interestingly, the Farrah shirt stayed my favorite for almost a year, ultimately being replaced by a Bert Jones jersey. It;s longevity as number #1 was a true testimony to my admiration for her.

Farrah, rest in peace. You were a real star in this man's eyes.

A True Legend

Ed McMahon passed away today.  

He was a television icon; the consummate talk show sidekick.  I can remember many a late night as a kid, listening from my room as my parents watched the Tonight Show in the living room  I would hear Ed's unmistakable laugh.  He made me laugh.....even though I didn't understand the joke most of the time.

From the outside looking in, Ed seemed to be a genuinely nice person.

Rest in peace, Ed McMahon.  You will be missed.

Here's one for you....Hiiiiiii Ooooooooo.

Thoughts From the Throne

I have been meaning to post using my iPhone. However, several important events have recently kept me busy.

Now that I have a few moments, I wondered where the best "remote" blogging location would be. Of course, it didn't take long to decide.....

-- Post From My iPhone

Was This Really Necessary?

Tuesday was one of those days.  One of those, "why oh why" days.  One of those, "I hope someone up there is laughing" days.

Timeline

• 5:15 am - alarm goes off.
• 5:35 am - after listening to some of the worst country music of all time I discover the clock radio  doesn't shut off by itself.
• 5:40 am - Hit the showers
• 5:45 am - Done.  Yes, a 5 minute shower.  I get son #2 up.  He goes to a school that starts at 7:00 am.
• 6:00 am - Make son breakfast.  Actually fry a couple eggs and make toast.  
• 6:25 am - Depart for school
• 6:50 am - Drop son off at school
• 7:05 am  - Drop work laptop off at building where it will be fixed.  It went belly up on me right as I was to get a great product installed.  
• 7:18 am - Drop off dry cleaning
• 7:22 am - Decide the car needs a washing.  While getting gas decide to add on the cost of the "supreme".  Not cheap, but decide to live large.
• 7:26 am - Pull right up into the wash (must be my lucky day)

So far, pretty good.  Now is when it gets a bit gamey....

• 7:27 am - As the first power blast goes by the driver's door, I notice some water splashing in.  No biggie....
• 7:27 am - Roll window down to make sure it shuts tight (bad, bad idea).
• 7:28 am - Discover window is now "off its track".  Second water blast is just beginning at passenger headlight.
• 7:28 am - 2 efforts to simply roll the window up are unsuccessful.  Second blast now just passing driver's headlight.
• 7:28 am - A futile "NO!!", followed by a complete soaking.  Small amount of soap tossed in, although it was not on the soap cycle.  Thanks, you p.o.s. car wash!
• 7:29 am - Succeed in manually aligning window so it will roll up....just as the "RainX" step is beginning.
• 7:29 am - flip the bird to the soaker as it passes my window.  Continue wiping up water with dirty napkin off of the floor.
• 7:32 am - Car wash completes
• 8:00 am - arrive home
• 8:01 am - share story with family, lots of laughs...no sympathy
• 8:05 am - youngest points out that a bird has "pooped on the car"
• 8:06 am - upon inspection, it appears we have an ostrich in our fair city
• 8:07 am - let out a scream that clears all birds from the surrounding trees.

For those of you wondering....I did think to just drive out of the car wash when the window fell off track.  However, the "supreme" wash is $9.00. There is no way in hell I am going to leave that wash early.

A man has to have his principles....even soggy ones.

Coolness

Just a quick post from my iPod Touch using a blog app. This thing is really, realy cool.

Odds and Ends (emphasis on CC ends)

Just some random stuff (mostly cool stuff I got at Circuit City)....

1. Good bye Circuit City.  I was never a big fan of yours, but I did enjoy the sale.  My best "steal" was a waterproof case for my Flip camera ($5 was a steal).  Now, to come up with an idea for using it underwater.
2. Spending a lot (too much) time at blip.fm.  I actually found Disco Duck there!!
3. My wife just returned from back-to-back weekends in Chicago with son #2 at state wide swim meets.  He kicked some rear, and she brought me back a cool gift.  She knows me really well.
4. Still liking my netbook.  Again, courtesy of CC's misfortune.
5. Looking at a tough spring/early summer/fall.  Oldest graduates high school and will be heading off to college.  Early indications are that my wife will be an emotional train wreck.  She has already cried during our trip back from a college visit.  
6. Starting to hit another one of those career evaluations.  Seems to creep up on me every spring.  
7. I recommend that anyone who would like to easily record events look at the Flip camera.  I got one at Christmas, and have used it at bball games, swim meets, and just around the house.  It is the easiest video camera I have ever used.  Simple, limited functionality, but perfect for a goof like me.  It's great not lugging around all the stuff associated with a typical camera.  And David Arquette uses one......
8. Finally, my last purchase at CC was an Archos 605 Wifi (80 gig).  It is one of the coolest gadgets I have gotten in some time.  Little tip to those running the CC rumage sale.  When you have items like these, it is a bad idea to lock them in a freakin closet, sitting sideways.....unless, of course, you are hoping to score them at the end of the day.

Techie stuff is soooo cool.

Can You Hear Me Now?

I have always believed that a bathroom serves a couple purposes.  

1. Place to do that thing you are supposed to do in there (number 1 and the deuce)
2. Reading room
3. Resting room
4. Room to play Bejeweled
5. Fortress of solitude
6. watch TV (when staying at a hotel that is ultra cool and has a tv in the potty)

Note, one action I did not list is using the room to carry on a conversation on a cell phone.  No no no no no no no.  

Today, at work, as I sat in a stall taking care of purposes #1, #3, and #4, someone stepped into the stall next to me.  After sitting down, they dialed someone on their cell phone and began an involved conversation.

I was in no mode for this.....so I decided to give him 3.5 minutes to chat and hang up.  Unfortunately,  since he was seemingly just getting started in the conversation after 5 minutes, I decided to take matters into my own hands.  It didn't help that he was laughing loudly during the chat.....very annoying.

So, in retaliation,  I began emitting the typical moans and grunts that a man struggling with a high fiber diet would typically create....only a bit louder (more pained) than is usual.  Then, out of respect for the late Paul Harvey, I would pause for several seconds, offering the chatter a chance to gracefully end their conversation.  

After a couple rounds of moans I heard him say, "no, that's not me".  I almost fell of my throne laughing.

Then, after another round I heard him say, "look, I am going to have to call you back".  

Check and mate, ass wipe.

No one crosses me in my domain......no one.