So Much, Yet So Little

It has been a while since I updated the blog. There has been a lot of things happening since the last post. However, since I am in a hurry, this will be a quick update on one thing....

Our favorite freelance columnist on commode etiquette is now on Twitter. When you have some time, jump over to Twitter and give a shout out to her : http://www.twitter.com/AuntPotty

I hear she is going to get very active with her "tweets".

Hello, My Lady

I am easily distracted...and have the maturity of a 7th grader. Those two facts tend to make any time I spend surfing an interesting adventure. A couple years ago I discussed how the adds with dancing alien/dancing Santa, surprised dancing women, etc. trying to sell mortgages annoyed me. What the hell any of those things had to do with mortgages still baffles me. Anyway, there is now another add bugging me......

I am now annoyed, distracted and intrigued by the Evony adds. They started out pretty goofy, but have recently started creeping into the always interesting soft-core porn category. Hey now!

I know next to nothing about Evony. It appears to be some sort of role playing online game. What I do know is that a queen/princess with a couple "qualities" highly valued by most men, wearing a low cut dress, is calling me, "My Lord" and wants me to "Play Now". Distraction level increasing....

She also mentions something about it being "free forever". Again, as the adds drift into that gray area, this proposition begins bugging me more.

This may be a great game, and the add may be very true to the activities in the game, but for crying out loud, the add distracts the hell out of me. Why does she have her eyes closed and head tilted back in "that way"??? Is she just happy to be warmed by the seemingly dull, semi-direct sunshine in the add??? I WANT TO KNOW! Just describing the add is starting to make this post sound like a Harlequin book.

Do they really get players by tossing the "wench" into the adds? By the way, did you know there is an International Wenches Guild? Don't say the time spent reading this post isn't educational.

I would be much happier if they were to put a couple that looked like these in the add:

I'm glad I don't work in Marketing.

Insta-Blush

Here are the seven words in the English language that make me blush instantly. Typically, any form of the word (except abbreviation) has the same effect. I even struggle to type these. And yes, there is definitely a common thread here. I never got much past 6th grade in terms of maturity.

The BIG Seven

1. Brassiere (but not bra)
   
2. Copulate
3. Ovary
4. Hysterectomy
5. Masturbate
   
6. Intercourse
7. Vagina
   

Angels and Puberty

Recently, death has been going through Hollywood like cheap sauerkraut. Trying to keep up with the celebrity passings would be a full time job...which is way too much work for me.

However, absolutely NO worthwhile blog claiming to have a television theme could not post a thought or two about the passing of Farrah Fawcett.

Charlie's Angels hit the airwaves about the same time I hit puberty. This coincidence was likely a gift from above to help me through that difficult period of time. Early on, I was drawn to the show, but also felt a bit embarrassed. Interestingly, at the time I had absolutely no idea why.

Of the three angels, I was drawn to Jill Munroe. Her character was far more developed than the other angels.

I fondly recall having many a heated "who was hotter" argument, Jill vs Kelly, with friends. The arguments typically ended with me saying, "you are just really stupid". Check and mate. I was always a tremendous debater.

Anyway, in my early teens, I tended to wear the same clothes for multiple, concurrent days. When something became my favorite, it was worn with great regularity. So, when I was given a t-shirt with THE picture on it, my dressing cycle was greatly altered. My previous favorite shirt, the "I'm With Stupid" shirt was replaced by a lovely, somewhat chilly lady.

Interestingly, the Farrah shirt stayed my favorite for almost a year, ultimately being replaced by a Bert Jones jersey. It;s longevity as number #1 was a true testimony to my admiration for her.

Farrah, rest in peace. You were a real star in this man's eyes.

A True Legend

Ed McMahon passed away today.  

He was a television icon; the consummate talk show sidekick.  I can remember many a late night as a kid, listening from my room as my parents watched the Tonight Show in the living room  I would hear Ed's unmistakable laugh.  He made me laugh.....even though I didn't understand the joke most of the time.

From the outside looking in, Ed seemed to be a genuinely nice person.

Rest in peace, Ed McMahon.  You will be missed.

Here's one for you....Hiiiiiii Ooooooooo.

Thoughts From the Throne

I have been meaning to post using my iPhone. However, several important events have recently kept me busy.

Now that I have a few moments, I wondered where the best "remote" blogging location would be. Of course, it didn't take long to decide.....

-- Post From My iPhone

Was This Really Necessary?

Tuesday was one of those days.  One of those, "why oh why" days.  One of those, "I hope someone up there is laughing" days.

Timeline

• 5:15 am - alarm goes off.
• 5:35 am - after listening to some of the worst country music of all time I discover the clock radio  doesn't shut off by itself.
• 5:40 am - Hit the showers
• 5:45 am - Done.  Yes, a 5 minute shower.  I get son #2 up.  He goes to a school that starts at 7:00 am.
• 6:00 am - Make son breakfast.  Actually fry a couple eggs and make toast.  
• 6:25 am - Depart for school
• 6:50 am - Drop son off at school
• 7:05 am  - Drop work laptop off at building where it will be fixed.  It went belly up on me right as I was to get a great product installed.  
• 7:18 am - Drop off dry cleaning
• 7:22 am - Decide the car needs a washing.  While getting gas decide to add on the cost of the "supreme".  Not cheap, but decide to live large.
• 7:26 am - Pull right up into the wash (must be my lucky day)

So far, pretty good.  Now is when it gets a bit gamey....

• 7:27 am - As the first power blast goes by the driver's door, I notice some water splashing in.  No biggie....
• 7:27 am - Roll window down to make sure it shuts tight (bad, bad idea).
• 7:28 am - Discover window is now "off its track".  Second water blast is just beginning at passenger headlight.
• 7:28 am - 2 efforts to simply roll the window up are unsuccessful.  Second blast now just passing driver's headlight.
• 7:28 am - A futile "NO!!", followed by a complete soaking.  Small amount of soap tossed in, although it was not on the soap cycle.  Thanks, you p.o.s. car wash!
• 7:29 am - Succeed in manually aligning window so it will roll up....just as the "RainX" step is beginning.
• 7:29 am - flip the bird to the soaker as it passes my window.  Continue wiping up water with dirty napkin off of the floor.
• 7:32 am - Car wash completes
• 8:00 am - arrive home
• 8:01 am - share story with family, lots of laughs...no sympathy
• 8:05 am - youngest points out that a bird has "pooped on the car"
• 8:06 am - upon inspection, it appears we have an ostrich in our fair city
• 8:07 am - let out a scream that clears all birds from the surrounding trees.

For those of you wondering....I did think to just drive out of the car wash when the window fell off track.  However, the "supreme" wash is $9.00. There is no way in hell I am going to leave that wash early.

A man has to have his principles....even soggy ones.

Coolness

Just a quick post from my iPod Touch using a blog app. This thing is really, realy cool.