Monday, July 02, 2007

Aunt Potty Approacheth

In preparation of Aunt Potty's return to blogging, here is her first ever post. Thanks again, Ed, for the question.....

Aunt Potty
Hello out there! My name is Aunt Potty. I am so excited to be part of this blag. Oh, goodness, I meant brog.

Please, send me your questions on bathroom etiquette. I am a professional. I know what is proper in the crapper. Can I say crapper here?

Anyway, here is my first question. It comes from Ed. Ed writes:

I just made my morning trip to the throne. It appeared nobody was in there, so I start in to my usual stall 2 (best flushing power) when I notice there is someone in 3 already, but I've already committed to my stall so I had to sit down (I realize the problem with not leaving the appropriate buffer stall and I take full responsibility for my action). After approximately 2 to 3 minutes of me doing my business, I hear the guy in the next stall get up, pull his pants up, flush and walk out. Not sure if you noticed the key part missing, but I heard no toilet paper activity whatsoever prior to getting up. Should I be concerned at all about this?

Oh, goodness. Ed does have a problem. Ed, I need some clarification. Did you hear any of the following emitting from your neighbor's stall?

  • A splash
    A significant amount of groaning, grunting, or swearing
  • Any "tooting"?

If none of these were heard, then, although very risky, it is OK to dispense with the wipe down phase. Your neighbor may be what we professionals call "a sitter".

However, the presence of any one of these and the lack of wiping would indicate that someone near you likely has tread marks on their whitewalls.

I strongly advise everyone to give at least one courtesy pass of the paper before departing the stall. Better to be safe than sorry.

Thanks for the question, Ed.

Aunt Potty

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