A few days ago, I ventured into one of these stores with my two oldest sons (ages 15 & 13). One was needing some last minute accessory to his grim reaper costume. So, as we walk into the place I see huge signs indicating that, on November 1st (and only on November 1st) all items in the store would be 50% off. Hmmmm. With my lust for outrageous deals, this kicked me into super-sensitive observation mode.
As we walked around I saw a very cool Batman mask, several simulated severed limbs, a beating heart (much like the one at Mayo in Airplane!), and a very cool fog machine. Obviously, none of these items, except for the heart) would be of much use after Halloween.
Then, IT caught my eye. Something so cool, so funny, and so perfect for me that I knew I must have it. I saw this:
Yes, I found the Fart Machine 2 - the one with a remote. To quote the back of the box, "It blows the original Fart Machine away." Beautiful. Although all W's in the store agreed that this was a must buy item ("Mom will love this"), we decided to take the chance and wait out the remaining days to try and get it half off. It seemed a bit pricey for a Fart Machine, even #2 (what irony in the name).
When we returned home, we discussed with the remaining 3 boys and agreed that I would attempt to buy it today, over my lunch hour. As a side note, does it surprise/alarm anyone that I am consulting with a 15 year old, a 13 year old, a 9 year old, a 7 year old, and a 4 year old on whether I should buy this? If it surprises you, just read a few of my other posts. They should clear up your confusion. If it alarms you, don't worry. I seldom ask them advice on large ticket purchases or important decisions.
Fast forward to today....promptly @11:00. Like a kid at the last day of school before summer vacation, I impatiently waited until 11:00. In a mature impulse, I placed 11:00 as the limit to when I would leave for lunch. Anyway, as soon as my watch beeped on the hour, I and JGirl (a coworker) drove like the Duke Boys to the store. I ran in, and jumped right to where I had seen the wonderful devices. To my relief, there was one left. As JGirl began ridiculing me, the lady at the store's counter says, "We have sold 5 of those this morning!" I immediately raise my hands up and let out a huge "YES!!!!!!!" startling JGirl, and others in the store. But I didn't care.
Around 3:30 this afternoon, I get a call at work. My 9 year had just gotten home from school and felt compelled to call. In a secretive, lowered voice he asks...."Did you get the item???". You see, right after we decided to buy it, we decided to try it out on Mrs. WHW/Mom first. He was thrilled to hear "Yes".
When I got home from work, the 9 year old and 7 year old came running to the car. We "discreetly" snuck the package in under the 7 year old's jacket. Mom would never frisk him. As I went upstairs, Mrs. WHW was on the phone...so three of the boys followed me up. We loaded the necessary batteries and tested it out. It worked perfectly. (Note: Did I mention it has a remote control, effective up to 100 feet? What a steal!!)
So, at supper time tonight, as everyone else was seated, I was in charge of getting drinks. As I brought them out, I placed the FM2 behind Mrs. WHW. Then, as I sat down. After we prayed, I let the FM2 work its magic. Her first reaction...."What was that??". Next, "Alright, who is doing that??". Next, "This is soooo stupid!!" Then, in true Mrs. W form, she says...."You know, I could use this at my next women's group meeting." This is why I love her. She sees the big picture.
Anyway, tomorrow should be an entertaining day......Just hope I don't get fired.
2 comments:
Dude, I wish you could have met my dad. He would have SO been there with you getting the fart machine and wanting to try it out on me and my mom. Unfortunately for him, we don't share Mrs. WHW's sense of humor. ;-)
I love that the package cautions that DEATH might result from use of the product...
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