For those of you who are wondering, here are the most common ways "Da Bomb" gets pulled out of me:
- Home repair (Ceiling Fans): First off, I suck at home repair. Second, we have a 100 year old house. So, there are several aspects of home repair that pull the F out of me. One of the most common is when I am trying to hang a ceiling fan. Keep in mind my house's wood is likely just a couple years away from being classified as petrified. that means, even if I predrill holes, when it comes time to drill a screw into the ceiling, the $%#@ screw gets about two-thirds the way in, then stops.
- Home repair (painting): I have never been overly coordinated. This can become a serious problem when you are painting tight, enclosed areas. For example, as I painted a closet last week I ended up with patches of what appeared to me to be lavendar paint in my hair. Each time my head touched the wall, Mr. F made an appearance.
- When I Get Lost: It IS a man thing to not ask for directions. And when I am in a hurry to get somewhere, the last thing I want is to have no %^$#ing clue where I am going.
- When Cooking Goes Bad: Last week I was making frozen pizzas for supper. The really good kind...with the rising dough, When I went to pull one out of the oven, it slide off the stone and fell onto the $%@&^%ing stove door.
- Kids Being Sick: Now, I never direct the word at the kids. That is totally unacceptable...but when I am downstairs and I hear "that sound" upstairs, Mr. F comes out very easily.
- Home Repair (Wiring): I can usually handle wiring a new switch or replacing an outlet...but when my handywork triggers a fuse to blow....FFFF is in the neighborhood.
- Laundry Woes: Sometimes I do the laundry. Usually, I forget to go through everyone's pockets. This is bad. Last time I pulled out a load of clothes and saw green blotches on everything...and a busted green ink pen sitting in the washing machine, F-a-roosky is around the corner.
- Software Failures: I am typing a blog entry. IE locks up. F-Bomb as I stop task.
- Home Repair (Plumbing): Nothing pulls my F-string faster than being under the sink "fixing" it, when a cascade of water comes down on my face.
I know the list looks long, but I think overall I am pretty good about controlling the demon. Never is it delivered to the kids or Mrs. WHW....never at sporting events....never at family get togethers.
I give myself a f'ing A!
Addendum: Having just bent my fingernail back while reaching into a clothes basket, I have another to add to my list.
3 comments:
OMG! lol Besides the time I juxtaposed the first letters of two words and the F-word came out of my mouth, I haven't used this word intentionally for something like six years or more...and that was when M and I were in a heated "discussion" and it just kind of shot out of my mouth unannounced. It wasn't followed by "off" or "you", but was used in place of "freakin'" or "friggin'" or "flippin'". I was so appalled that I let it slip that I just got madder and M finally left me alone. lol Oh my goodness...
You have a great list there! Can totally relate to the 100 year old house. We've run into the same problems with the "petrified" wood. Predrilling? Yeah right...there have been a few times predrilling and we smelled smoke because the drill bit was getting so hot going through the wood. Talk about unnerving! :oP
Anyway, hope you had a great weekend!
Yeah...stay away from home repair! But, keep doing laundry. And then call my husband and let him know how fun it is and make him jelous for not doing any.
My F-Bomb comes out when I try to carry too much stuff (which is a lot, usually because I am in a hurry and late) and then I start dropping things, one at a time.
Yikes! Well, I think the occations listed pretty much merit a hearty F-Bomb drop, especially the water in the face & the bent back fingernail :)
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