As a public service to this audience, I would like to provide a quick overview on how to understand men. Understanding men is quite easy once you are provided some of the basic, lesser known universal man facts. Since I have been a man all my life...and that there are six of us in this house, I feel I am speaking not only with some authority, but with some statistical backing. Yes, I understand that this thought process is a horrible exercise in stereotyping.
With that in mind, here are my Top 13 Lesser Known Universal Man Facts
- Men love electronics. Be it a TV remote, a computer, a stereo, a Gameboy, even an rc car or an old Atari, we love them. Best Buy is nirvana.
- Men love FREE...anything. We will drive miles for free. In a grocery store we will stand for hours and eat free samples. And, speaking personally, we not only love free, we love to tell others about our free stuff.
- Men love reversable. It could be a reversable shirt, shorts, coat, etc. When given a choice, we will choose reversable 100% of the time.
- Men love the Stooges...duh.
- Men love throwing rocks, apples, walnuts, snowballs, etc.
- Men communicate best via noises...grunts, belches, etc. Words are a waste of effort.
- Men love TV....maybe not the same programs, but they love TV
- Men love supersize meals...more for less (tied to #2)
- Men love playing in dirt...or even better, mud.
- Men feel compelled to stay out in a storm much longer than they should....and must go back out into it before it is truely safe.
- Deep down inside, men do like to watch soap operas. Victor Newman, you dog.
- Men love comics in the newspaper. Hagar is always popular.
- Men love to cook with the microwave....and they will try to cook almost anything in it. It is fast, less mess, and can create some cool effects while in the microwave.
Of course, I steered clear of many of the obvious man things. But, if they are really obvious, they don't need stating.
Hopefully, I have captured some of the mystic of manhood here in this list. Stand up men....be proud....wear that reversable shirt with pride as you watch The Young and the Restless and eat the pot pie you made in the microwave.
6 comments:
lol As always, great list! I can so totally relate to the one about staying out in the storm longer than you should and then going back out in it before it's really safe. M insisted on going in to work this morning despite the call for very inclement weather. Halfway there, the announcement came over the radio that Creighton University was closed...everything...including my office. I actually growled when I heard that then just looked at him. I said, "So what am I supposed to do while you're at work?" He pushed another 10 miles until it just got so horrible that we had to turn around and go back home. (We got over halfway there.) And he pouted all the way back home.
Men.
*sigh*
Dear heavens, where were you when I needed this list - mainly for fact #2?? Jon will go out of his way for free. He'll bring just about anything home if it's free. Case in point - he brough home a huge metal filing cabinet one day - it weighed about 200 lbs, and was around five feet long, three, three and a half feet high... one of those industrial office ones. All I could do was stand their gaping stupidly. Someone had placed it on their lawn with a "free" sign on it, so he took it.
He also picked up an old, beat-up Schwinn bike for free when I was taking my MCATs... he came to get me for lunch, and there was a rusty old bike in the back of my bronco with a sign taped to it - "Free to good home." The kicker - we already had three bokes that we NEVER use.
Yeesh!
Pretty much sums up us big dumb animals. Gotta say free stuff tops my list. I'm surrounded by crap I got for free. And just tonight, I've taken 2 hours to record an album played for free from Rhapsody, edit the tracks, convert them to CD, and turn around to rip them to MP3 - all to save the $12 download cost. But I got it for free!
Dear God, I just don't even know what to say...this was so right it hurt...You men are just so.......weird. What we put up with just because we like having you around...*sigh*
Men.
#11~ *smile* I suspected as much!
Thanks for the heads up :)
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