Thursday, March 22, 2007

Deep Thoughts on Hair

A couple days ago, as I walked through the local mall, I noticed a kid sporting a purple Mohawk. Seeing it made me think…"Wow. There's a hair style that has endured for several hundred years." That thought led me to think…"Wonder what other styles of hair have dominated different times in history?" Yes, I know. My life is sad.

Anyway, here are the thoughts I jotted down last night on this topic. Yes, I only mentioned man hair. Another oddity of mine….difficult critiquing women's hair.

  • Caveman Hair – Since the dawn of mankind, we have had pillow head. While it is possible that one or more tried to use a plant extract as an early form of Dippity Do, my guess is most just went with how the rock they slept on shaped it.
  • Socrates Hair – I imagine two styles during the times of the great thinkers….either the "bum living in the box" look or the "bald down the middle, hair over the ears" look. I am pretty sure Plato had a good head of hair.
  • Zeus Hair – This dude had it all. Made Fabio look like Bill Gates.
  • Pharaoh Hair – With Easter upon us, I base my assessment of hair in Biblical times on how they looked in "The Ten Commandments". Therefore, many had shaved heads or early Klingon/Romulan styles. Yul Brenner really looked cool.
  • Magellan Hair – The hair of the famous explorers was likely flowing. They had to have something that would blow around as the stood on the deck of a ship.
  • Mohawk Hair – Still a rock solid look when conveying some sort of message….just not sure what that message is.
  • Lincoln Hair – Abraham Lincoln had a great head of hair. And it went wherever it wanted. I am willing to bet that when he took off the stovepipe top, his locks looked like one of the guys from "Flock Of Seagulls". I think Grant had a similar hairdo.
  • Patton Hair – Again, a look based on one of my favorite movies. The military look is clean and simple. Unfortunately, my head has enough irregular bumps and curves that the look just would not work for me.
  • ABA Hair – One of my life long secrets is that I always wanted to have an afro. I remember watching a young Dr. J just dominate the ABA while sporting an awesome 'fro. Unfortunately, the white 'fro typically does not work. Remember Room 222?

My Hair – Now we come to my hair. Much of my hair remains on my head, which is nice. However, it sits up there with an attitude. It goes where it wants to go. I step out of the shower and comb it the same every day. Yet, during the course of a week, my hair typically takes on 3 – 4 different styles. I have tried styling gel, mousse, hair crème (brylcreem), etc. Each have fought a valiant fight…each has lost. I would say, with respect to history, I am a cross between Lincoln Hair and Caveman Hair.

As I look back at my hair notes, I started wondering….why did I spend time writing about hair? Great question….no answer.

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