Thursday, March 22, 2007

I Look Like Who?

Double post tonight….

Over the course of my 44 years of existence I have met a lot of people. As discussed in previous posts, many of these people talk to me as if I was their long lost brother, saying just about anything. Looking back, there are a few topics that tend to come up time and time again. I'm not sure why they come up. Possibly their frequency is related to me…or maybe to the type of person who opens up to a stranger this easily.

Yet another interesting chat at the local Meijer last night prompted me to reflect. Here are some of the most common topics people toss out to me:

  1. "My friend/neighbor/coworker is a vampire". - This one has come up three times. No one has ever been "bitten" by their acquaintance. But they are sure they are close to one who is undead. Interestingly enough, two of the three who mentioned this worked at a Wendy's.
  2. "The government is watching me". - I have had four chats where the individual is under government surveillance. Not that one president/party is worse than another, of the four, two were being watched by Bill Clinton, one by George W Bush, and one claimed he was watched by Nixon. The Nixon one also brought up the fact that he knew who killed John F and Bobby Kennedy. Double points.
  3. "UFO's are landing near here" – This is a common Walmart topic.
  4. "I have a serious, rare disease…". – This one is usually pretty tough, since I have a hard time trying to joke/smart @ss my way out of the chat. Tumor jokes go over about as well as Abraham Lincoln/John Wilkes Booth jokes.
  5. "You look a lot like…." – This one is the second most common initial topic. In conversations with strangers, I have been compared (multiple times) to:
    1. Jim Cantore – Weather Channel guy
    2. Kermit the Frog
    3. Sylvester the Cat
    4. Bill Gates
    5. "Some Guy from Lincoln, IL"
    6. "That one nerd in Wargames"
    7. Sylvester Stallone (likely from his "Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot" classic and not from any of the Rambo/Rocky/Cobra movies)
  6. "You have an odd name"/"Did your parents mean to name you that?" – This is the number one topic from anyone checking me out at a store. As you could figure, WHW…begins and ends with the same letter. Without being too obvious, my first and last names are very similar.

BTW: the chat at Meijer's last night started in the DVD section of the store. I was looking for a good kids movie for us to take on an upcoming family trip. The person standing next to me explained how VeggieTales was a sellout of Christian values…and that I shouldn't by "Madam Blueberry". In an attempt to be funny, I suggested I pick up "Reservoir Dogs" for the trip. Unfortunately, as is usually the case, they thought I was serious and began telling me how bad that movie is. Maybe I should have suggested "Scareface"? "Say hello to my little friend".

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