All I Need Is Tape Between My Lenses

Websters defines Nerd as "an unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person; especially : one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits ". Hmmmm...slavishly. That sounds cool.

Since I'm not sure what this means, I am unable to determine if I do, in fact, qualify as a nerd. So, I decided to come up with "The Nerd Analyzer". It is a simple set of questions with Nerd Points (or Noints). Total them up at the end and see where you stand.

The Nerd Analyzer

1. Do you own any Star Trek memorabilia? (add up all that apply)

• No - 0 Noints
• I own a phaser - 25 Noints
• I own a tricorder - 25 points
• I cherish an autographed pic of Shatner - 75 Noints

2. Which are you most comfortable at? A social gathering(yes, women are there) or a .NET User's Group?

• Social Gathering - 0 Noints
• .NET User Group - 25 Noints
• If you said neither, because I use Linux - 100 Noints

3. Do you frequently where a t-shirt with either Microsoft, IBM, Sun, or Google on it?

• No - 0 Noints
• Yes - 50 Noints
• No, but I have "Apple Rules" tattooed on my chest - 100 Noints

4. A grandparent dies, leaving you $5,000. What is your first thought on how to spend it?

• Put it in your savings account - -25 Noints
• Go get that Duo Core laptop with 2 gig of memory that you have had your eye on for months - 50 Noints
• A 60" high def TV so you can watch the upcoming Dr. Who Marathon - 100 Noints
• A year's subscription to MSDN - Call for help now

5. Have you ever written and/or debugged assembler code...and enjoyed it?

• What is assembler code? - -25 Noints
• Yes I have - 50 Noints
• I wouldn't have had to but that idiot next to me performed a NAND operation before moving a hex 13 into register 2. - 250 Noints

6. What is your favorite beverage?

• Water - 0 Noints
• Milk (skim) - 0 Noints
• Milk (whole) - 10 Noints
• Coffee - 20 Noints
• Coke/Pepsi - 25 Noints
• Mountain Dew - 100 Noints
• Red Bull with an Amp chaser - 110 Noints (and you need to see a heart specialist soon)

7. How much time do you spend in front of the computer on a daily basis?

• Less than 2 hours - 0 Noints
• Between 2 hours and 5 hours - 25 Noints
• Between 6 hours and 10 hours - 50 Noints
• I never leave - 100 Noints

8. How many blogs do you manage?

• 0 - 0 Noints
• 1 - 10 Noints
• 2 - 20 Noints
• More than 2 - 50 Noints
• Blogs are so 2006, dude - 100 Noints

9. How many of these technologies are you familiar with? Twitter, MySpace, WordPress, PHP, and HTML.

• 0 - 1 - 0 Noints
• 2 - 3 - 10 Noints
• all 5 - 20 Noints
• "hey, you forgot FaceBook and Ruby" - 100 Noints

10. Have you ever hugged your TV or Computer (and I mean hugged)?

• No - 0 Noints
• Yes - 50 Noints
• I refuse to answer because my iPod will get jealous - 100 Noints

Now, add up your totals and compare to the chart below:

• 0 - 50 Noints - You are normal. Not sure why you are even reading this blog.
• 51 - 199 Noints - You are a closet Nerd. You need to be honest with yourself.
• 200 - 400 Noints - Nice pocket protector
• More than 400 Noints - How's life in your parents' basement?

For the record, I had 450 Noints. Surprise anyone??