Mountain Dew, Why Do You Hate Me?

 For most of my life (a lengthy bit of time) I have been a passionate supporter of Mountain Dew.  To apply a time filter to this statement, I clearly remember buying a green glass bottle of ice cold Dew for a dime.  It looked like this Old Dew Bottle.  16 glorious ounces of goodness.

So what's my beef?  Is it...

1. All the goofy flavors they have added?  Nope.  Not even the Baja Blast at Taco Bell.
2. The new branding?  Nope
3. The Dew "energy drinks"? - Nope

What really Grinds My Gears is the virtual impossibility of finding the "Real Sugar Dew"...aka Throwback.

When Throwback was introduced several years ago as a "Limited Release" offering, I would hoard those cases, hoping it would hold me over until the next year's release.  When I would visit relatives in Louisville, I found a Walgreens (or maybe a CVS) that carried lots of Throwback bottles.  How wonderful that was.  I'm sure there many will try to point out that there is no significant difference Dew made with real sugar and Dew made with high fructose corn syrup.  I support your freedom to claim this...but as a Dew expert, I can tell you that you are wrong.  

Several years ago, Throwback moved from limited time availability to standard release, right next to normal Dew.  The can of Throwback, permanently donned with the awesome hillbilly label, was there whenever I wanted it.  Granted, the bottles of it were difficult to find...but the world just felt right.  

Fast forward to several pandemic months ago...and to my surprise, there was no Throwback at any of my normal sources.  I tried to hold it together, thinking it was a temporary victim of Covid-adjusted production.  But I learned that, for some reason, Throwback was discontinued.  But, you could purchase "Mountain Dew Real Sugar" (the stores must have been clearing out inventory over the months previous to the switch).  Yes, the branding for it sucked---I want the hillbilly.  But at least I had hope.  

That hope, over the last few months has turned to shopping stress.  Yes, there are plenty of cases of Pepsi Real Sugar at stores...but almost no Dew Real Sugar anywhere  Plenty of Dew Zero...both in stores in bottles on in the coolers of gas stations and convenience stores.  But NO DEW REAL SUGAR.  WHY????!!!!????  I frequently search online before going out to stores, seeing if any of them have Real Sugar Dew.  Most do not...but will claim to have it "in stock".  No one likes a tease, retailers.

The pinnacle of my pain happened last week.  As I had a multiple day drive from Illinois to Washington DC and back I had this vision that "the next place I stopped at would have it".  Each stop at a gas station in Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Maryland, and Washington DC gave me hope.  Hope somewhere along the path someone had the common decency to stock at least on column of Real Sugar/Throwback.  But no....none was found.  I heard from several.. "Just buy a regular Dew".  No!

I ask for very little in my life.  I try to display strong brand loyalty, showing those who create products I like the consumer love it deserves.  But this is taxing me to a difficult point.  No, I don't want regular Dew.  No, I do not want Dew zero.  And hell no, I do not want to drink Mello Yello.  Come on.

All I ask is for some respect and come consideration from Pepsico.  Show this Dew lover some kindness.  Help me find the yellow brick road to Dew made with real sugar.   Why do you make me beg?  Even 50+ year Dew drinkers have pride.

Here's to you, Throwback.  You were that wonderful product that comes around once or twice in a lifetime.  

A Throwback from many years ago