Thursday, September 21, 2006

Now THIS Is A List

Recent blog hopping (or, what I call Blopping) has lead me to several people who have posted cools lists of various things.  Readers are encouraged to pick items of the list that they have done. 

I like these types of posts....but have noticed that I frequently have very few "hits" on the lists.  So, in an attempt to convince myself that I'm not a boring slug,  here is a list customized/personalized a bit. 

Feel free to play along.  The thing to remember is, for this list, it is much better to NOT have a lot of "hits"....

Have you ever:

  1. Eaten earthworm pie (real worms, not gummies)
  2. While choking, passed a hot dog out your nose
  3. Found yourself singing along to a Christopher Cross song on the radio
  4. Fallen out of a tree because you sawed off the branch you were sitting on (literally)
  5. Shot a loogie out of your mouth and hit a car so hard it triggered the car's security alarm
  6. Laughed so hard you peed your pants
  7. Fallen down stairs so badly you saw your feet....while looking up
  8. Laughed at a funeral...at a bad, bad time
  9. Cracked a joke about someone...then learned the person you are talking to is their mother
  10. Actually thought The Thompson Twins had some good songs
  11. Tried to fix a pipe in the basement...and ended up giving yourself a concussion
  12. Mastered the imitation of a dog throwing up...and been asked to do it at parties
  13. Forgotten to zip your fly AND fasten your belt....and gone to church that way
  14. Struck out swinging in slow pitch softball
  15. Triggered a bench clearing brawl in a rec softball league
  16. Seriously hurt yourself trying to do the splits
  17. Joked with a friend about someone who was walking a dog that was wearing a sweater...only to see your friend's wife putting a sweater on their dog
  18. Been referred to by a previous boss as a "loose cannon"
  19. Belched so hard you had a sore throat for three days
  20. Stuffed a huge piece of pizza in your mouth....simply because someone "bet" you couldn't do it
  21. Thrown a rotten apple at a tree to see it smash, only to miss the tree and hit your neighbor's car
  22. Had such offensive flatulence that you "toot" outside and it still grosses you out
  23. Been kicked out of Junior High band for using your trombone's slide as a weapon
  24. Walked into a store's glass door, not realizing it was still closed
  25. Stepped out of the bathroom after a shower (flexing your manliness), only to realize that the bathroom drapes are wide open...and your wife is standing directly outside the window talking to one of her friends, and the local priest?

Pretty impressive list, isn't it.  I am batting 100% on this one!

 

BTW: As I listened to Casey Kasem's top 40 on XM this evening, I harked back to his infamous out take/blooper.  If you need a laugh, check this out.  It requires Real Player...and has some adult language.  Make sure any little ones are out of ear-shot.

6 comments:

Caffeinated Librarian said...

OH. MY. GOD!

Why don't you put warning labels on these things?

"May cause you to snort coffee out your nose."

"May make you laugh so loud that your co-workers come to see if something's wrong."

You are a bad, bad man, dude. Good thing you're funny. ;-)

Guinevere said...

Adding on to CL's warnings:

"May make you laugh so hard you pee your pants."

Not that I did, but...ummm....you get the picture! lol I think I could only say yes on a couple of those.

Some are just too gross for words, dude. :oÞ

Unknown said...

Or.."may make others think you're crazy for laughing so hard at the computer screen". Fortunately I only have 2 on there..#6,&8. I think I like my list better..less embarrassing!! LOL. You are something else...like CL said..good thing you're funny...

Sue said...

or "May make your college kid look at you like you are insane, call you a big dork, and then go back to campus"

or "May make you laugh so hard you begin farting, which makes you laugh harder, which makes you fart again... you get the idea." (it happens!)

: ) Sue

Caffeinated Librarian said...

*pssst* You still alive, dude? Or have the inmates taken over the asylum? (Not that I'm worried. Nope. Nope. Not me...I have total and complete confidence. *grin*)

Anonymous said...

Oh, my. Batting 100, eh? :)

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