Saturday, October 07, 2006

If You Say That One More Time....

Over the past few months, I have had the privilege to listen to a lot of people talk in presentations and planning meetings.  As is the norm for me, rather than closely listen to what they say, I have chosen to lock in on annoying, often over-used words, phrases, sentences.  I wonder if this is somehow related to my recent watching of Office Space.

Here are ten of the most incredibly annoying/truly grating ones (most of which have been directed at me).  A few people who work with me are hip to my sensitivity to this stupid things...so I try to use them in presentations that they are attending.  Nothing like a little inside joke to help lighten the load a little.

  1. Let's agree to disagree - No, let's agree to not rip each others' larynxes out.
  2. Due diligence - This is typically used when someone really wants to say, "You better be doing something to pacify that group that likes to complain."
  3. Here we GROW again - This one pisses me off on several levels.  Not sure why.  Might be that the person who uses this the most makes every hair on the back of my neck stand up.
  4. If it were up to me.... - Let's be honest, if it were up to you, I would be working the saniflush duty.
  5. That may be appropriate for an effort like yours, but something as important as mine isn't able to tolerate such unprofessionalism. - I never realized that asinine, over-budgeted projects required a high level of professionalism.
  6. Personally, I support what you are trying to do. However.... - Translation: I am a backstabber.
  7. I hope the executives don't hear about what you are advocating. - No, I hope they do.  And, please, spare me the attempts to scare.  Please.  The only things that scare me are 1) Mrs. WHW, 2) anyone who approaches me in a laundromat 3) Mrs. WHW.  Notice, no mention of the "executives".  Dork.
  8. You just don't get it, do you? - Proudly, no.
  9. I believe you need to rethink that position. - Hmmm.  Let me think about it, NO I don't think I need to.  Enough "thinks" for you???
  10. We need a new process/procedure. - This one is #10 for a reason.  Every time I hear this one I go into a complete meltdown.  Yes, processes and procedures serve a purpose.  But, for the love of APL (nerdy reference), can we at least attempt to leave a little room for creativity?????

Whew, I feel a little better already.

Few other notes: 

  • I want to welcome PMaroun to the commenters/readers.  P, I really like your profile.  Great list of favorite books, buddy.
  • I am on the road/in the sky again next week.  Maryland and New Jersey.
  • Chris, I think the Zen was an excellent choice. 
  • G, the cloud has lifted a bit.  Just been a little too busy to get around.  I have been lurking.  Hit any animals lately?
  • Elizabeth, Wedding Singer would be a GREAT selection.  It looks like Best Buy will be my primary place to go for PSP movies for a while. Descent selection.  Know any other good places?
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