Monday, February 19, 2007

Wow, That Was Stupid Even For Me

I'm sure many of you frequent visitors to this blog have some interesting thoughts on me. I can easily see thoughts ranging from "Super Genius" to "Complete Mope". I would like to think I fall somewhere within that range. However, tonight, I am having a hard time justifying anything higher than "mouth breather". Let me explain....

We have had a lot of snow here recently. Today it did reach 42....but it takes time for a foot of snow to melt. Upon getting home from work today, I went upstairs to change into my Peyton Manning jersey (14 consecutive days wearing). When I looked out the window, toward the street, I noticed what looked to be an Illini hat in a drift in my yard, not too far from a road. It looked pretty ratty, as any hat that has been sitting in snow would look.

Anyway, I was too busy getting ready to coach Z-Dog's indoor soccer the hat left my train of thought. Actually, it was pushed back into a recess of my mind....but not completely expelled from it.

So later, after we got back home, I went out to walk our dog, Spike. I walk him every night around ten or so. With the recent snow, our walks have stayed on the road, not venturing into our yard much.

As tonight's walk took us around the yard, I remembered the hat. Since a recent ice storm knocked out our closest street light, and the moon is but a sliver, I had very little light to use to find the hat. However, I finally found it while standing on the road. It was several feet into the yard. Hmmmm.

Here were my next thoughts...and my post walk analysis of the thoughts:

  1. Thought: "I bet this big drift/plowed snow between me and that hat is pretty firm; pretty frozen. I bet I can walk across it" Analysis: First, I weigh 225. Only a glacier is going to support my stature. Second, if you take the snow + the plowed snow along the road, it must be 24 inches deep, at least. Third, it is a ratty hat that I know I won't wear.
  2. Thought: "If I walk really quickly, I bet I won't sink" Analysis: Only The Flash could pull that off.
  3. Thought: "I really want to see that hat" Analysis: From 50 feet I saw that the hat was ratty. And what was I going to do with the hat anyway?
  4. Thought: "Come on Spike, let's go for it" Analysis: Spike wanted nothing to do with going into the yard. A dog's instincts are true.
Well, my first step toward the hat was secure. Next one, a deep sink. The third one, almost up to my knee. Fourth, off came my left shoe.

I did reach the hat, with one socked foot and one soaked leg (the third step got me leaning enough to fall forward). I picked up the hat. Decided is was pretty nasty...and threw it back almost the exact place it was when I started.

I then took a step back, grabbed my lost shoe, and took the remaining steps (as hops) back to the road....falling again. In frustration, I stuffed my left foot back into the shoe...and found the toe part of the shoe full of snow. All this time Spike is sitting on the road waiting for me.

I decided that my walking would melt the snow in my shoe's we continued our walk. Upon reaching our driveway (several minutes later), I realized the snow was not melting, so I took the shoe off and slammed it on the driveway a few times to knock it out.

When I made it in, I left my shoes where we keep wet shoes. As I walked through the kitchen, Mrs. W asked....why are your socks so wet???? I just kept walking.
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