Saturday, April 07, 2007

In Search Of The Meaning of Life

What does life mean? Is life simply the time we exist? Or is there much more to it? Pretty deep questions to try and tackle…especially by someone who blogs about trips to the bathroom, his odd behaviors, and from the perspective of his dog, a squirrel, and an imaginary Aunt.

This time of year is particularly difficult for me. I lost both of my parents at a fairly young age…both right around this time of year. Each year, around this time, I fall into the pattern of thinking of them, thinking of my past with them, and thinking about what life is all about. I frequently start to feel sorry for myself, mope around, and become a drag. I usually have a harder time falling asleep and spend a lot of free time drifting in my mind. All this translates into me being a difficult person to be around.

This year has been no exception. I have been on two business trips over the past few weeks, which is probably good for my family and co-workers. Being away from home has given me ample time to think. Time in the hotel and, more frequently, time in the airport. However, my thoughts took a left turn last Sunday.

As I walked to my gate at O'Hare to wait for my flight, I noticed the flight had been delayed for almost an hour. I settled into a seat to spend drifting in thought. I started looking around me, letting my eyes slowly go out of focus. Then, off to my left I noticed an older mom, holding a young baby, and talking to a little boy in a wheelchair. This little boy, probably 8 or 9, appeared to be mentally handicapped, having a hard time communicating. However, he was having no problem telling each person who walked by him "goodbye".

As I sat watching this family, my first thought was how tough it must be for the lady to travel with the two kids. My next thought was how the little boy in the wheelchair seemed to be such a happy little boy…even with the tough things he was having to deal with. He would frequently do things to make the baby laugh, which then would make him laugh. Then I started wishing I had some way I could close my eyes, concentrate, and take away all the things that seem to make his life hard.

Then, a voice inside me said, "stop feeling sorry for those people". The mom seemed to be fine taking care of her kids. The young boy, as I said, was having a good time playing with his young sister. Why had I felt so compelled to focus in on the negatives of this family? Yes, they obviously had challenges that would make their life tough….but they seemed to be fine, going about their life in a great way.

This all brings me back to my first thoughts….what is life and what keeps people going? To me, that family knew more about what life is than I do. Life is loving yourself….loving those around you….being part of those around you. "Those" can be your spouse, your kids, your parents, your friends, your neighbors, your pet….anyone. Life is interacting with your world. Not being afraid of the pain and suffering that comes with living. Life is not always easy. For some it sure looks to be hard. For others, it seems easy (at least on the surface). But in reality, life has its ups and downs for everyone.

That little boy in the wheelchair understood it. He knew that life should be chuckles and hugs and fun…even when others around him (like the knucklehead wearing the Cubs jersey – aka me) felt sorry for him. That little boy gets it.

Yes, life for me has had some pretty sad events. But it has had some pretty awesome ones too. I have a wonderful family, great friends, and the chance to laugh a lot. Life is good…just absent a few special people.

And most of all, my life was fortunate enough to cross paths with someone who really understands what life is about. Thanks little guy. I owe you one.

4 comments:

Guinevere said...

So, do you get it now? ;o)

I think we all have frames of time where we let our minds drift to past experiences and lost family and friends. It's not all bad. We need to remember them...it's just when we focus too much of our energy on them that it's probably not good for us.

Have a great Easter weekend, friend! :oD

weimie said...

WooHooo... I figured it out on my own! Small redemption for being so stoooopid earlier, huh?

Anonymous said...

Food for thought, indeed. I have those same thoughts even though both of my parents are still alive. Maybe it's because, that at 86, I know that their deaths are coming nearer with each passing year. Death is a part of the cycle of life, just sorry that you lost your parents at a young age.

I'm glad you came across that family at the airport and you do owe the little guy one, as do I.

Thanks for your post my friend!

Caffeinated Librarian said...

Don't beat yourself up too much for feeling down dude - happens to the best of us. But Guinevere's right, the problem comes when we get trapped in them so that we're unable to find joy or take part in our own lives. I'm glad the little dude helped you break the cycle, but part of the credit goes to you for seeing that situation in the way you did. So give yourself some kudos and remember this the next time these thoughts come around. You hear me, big brother?

Oh, and when I read this the first time while I was staying at my mom's over the weekend? Totally made me cry. That's good writing for ya! *grin*

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