Bueller?....... Bueller?.......Bueller?

My attention span ranks around that of a 7 year old. I blame many things for this problem. MTV, a healthy diet of pixie sticks, bottle caps, Mountain Dew, and sugar daddies while growing up, and the fact that the TV remote was "invented" during my evolving "adulthood".


This personal flaw causes serious issues at work. Unfortunately, I am frequently pulled into/invited/requested/forced to attend lots of meetings. Most of these require, at most, 5 to 10 minutes of my attention.

So, as I sat with Kirby and J-Girl at one of the most worthless presentations I have ever driven to, I began scribbling notes on ways I keep myself occupied in meetings like this:

1. Write the alphabet with my left hand (you see, I am right handed). The damn "o's" get me every time.
2. Begin writing down ideas for blog entries. This post has some very recursive qualities. A blog post about how I think up blog posts....hmmm. Ouch...did I just say recursive. Dang, I have become someone I used to make fun of when I was a kid.
3. Draw the figure eight shaped dog head over and over. Yes, it has adult overtones.
4. Ask the presenter/meeting lead questions that I already know the answer to. This one is for the entertainment of my coworkers who are also attending. They know I already know the answer. Usually gives them a chuckle.
5. Play one-person word association. This is where I grab a word that the speaker just said....and see how far I can morph it. This game has been known to keep me occupied for 20 minutes. It is most fun when the speaker thinks they are intellectual, and try to drop overly complex words/phrases into a discussion.
6. Make a list of ideas on how to get out of the meeting early. Fax nausea, pretend the cell phone is vibrating, etc
7. Draw turkeys with the outline of my hand. Yes, I loved Kindergarten.

I'm sure there are more....but you will have to wait until I have another boring meeting....which, according to my calendar, should be about 9:30 tomorrow morning.