Monday, July 16, 2007

Imagine the Book Reports

Early on in my blogging efforts I talked a bit about the wonderful offers that have been emailed to me (aka spam) over the years.

Well, in the spirit of it, I present to you a recent offer from a book club. Oh, the temptation to buy a few new books....
  1. Psychic Children - Sylvia Brown. I think my kids are all psychic. They know exactly when I am going to ask them to help....and they disappear. They can also will messes to happen.
  2. The New Detox Diet. This screams two questions. First, what was up with the old one? Second, is this really just a fancy application of exlax?
  3. The Emotional Lives of Animals. Based on Spike and Sal, I do not need more info on their emotions.
  4. The Orgasmic Diet. Wonder which angle this book chases. One might be interesting, the other wouldn't interest me much. I'll let you figure out which is which.
  5. Hand Reflexology. The book cover shows a hand bending another hand. Wonder if they have a chapter on knuckle cracking.
  6. Sacred Geometry. Oh, wise and wonderful isosceles , lead me the way.
  7. Super Hot Sex. If this book could explain how to have special time while managing 5 kids in the house, I would pay hundreds. It must focus on how to maintain energy levels while arguing with kids for up to five consecutive hours. Also, hopefully it will discuss how to maintain intimacy while finding pokemon cards and the Blues Clues notebook in your bed.
  8. The Sugar Solution. Hopefully this will discuss how sugar IS the solution, not how avoiding sugar IS the solution.

If I do happen to buy a book, I am leaning toward #6 or #4. #6 for the amusement, #4 for the entertainment value of having it laying on the table when people come over to the house.

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