Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Potty Revisited Again

Based on some feedback I got on the recent post by Aunt Potty, I am posting another Aunt Potty Classic from the other channel.

Hope you enjoy.

Spike is on deck for the next post.....and he is itching to post, or itching because he has fleas. Oooo, that will probably cost me when he posts.


Please Potty, Don't Hurt 'em

Can't touch this.....

Hello everyone, this is your Aunt Potty, once again "touch'n' base with my homelies".

Today, I am going to tackle one of my most frequently asked question. It was most recently asked by WHW's ten year old son, Z-Dog. Z-Dog writes,

Dear Aunt Potty,
Frequently, when I go to the bathroom, I see big brown skid marks on the bowl. One of my other brothers, likely A-Train, drops the big mookies in there, and they leave landing marks. Some are big wide ones, while others are narrow tick marks. My question is, isn't there some rules to be followed if you leave chocolate stripes on the porcelain? Thanks, AP.

Z-Dog

My my my, Z-Dog, you sure has a colorful vocabulary, don't you? Z-Dog, you have a very common question. Many, usually wifes/mothers, ask me this question. My answer is an emphatic, YES. Yes, there is some potty etiquette here. Let me explain.

When someone leaves a "bacon strip" inside the toilet, they are obligated to address it either with additional paper/flushes or a squirt of a little saniflush. Either way, you should never leave your calling card in the john. Goodness, that would be like sneezing on a mirror, then just wiping your nose off.

Remember my saying, "Trip to the head, leave it as clean as your bed."

Thanks for the question, Z-Dog.

To all my peepers out there, feel free to send me your potty questions. I live to serve.

Until next time.....I wish everyone many happy flushes.

Tootaloo.


Aunt Potty


Addendum: Think I will post the "20 Aunt Potty Facts" also....

20 facts about your Aunt Potty:
  • I am 4'5"
  • No, my hair is not blue
  • I won't tell you my age, but as a hint, I do remember using an out-house and the Sears catalog (not just to read)
  • I am quite close to WHW, often times offering him advice for his oddly frequent bathroom encounters. He even weirds me out once in a while.
  • I attended a one room school house where I learned the 3 R's....reading, wRiting, and rectum (goodness, can I say rectum???)
  • I married at 19 to my school sweetheart, John Potty. John was a true gentleman in almost every regard....except for the flatulence/bed covers thing. I believe the current term is "dutch oven". You kids today and your terms.
  • John died in a tragic gas related accident. Methane is an awful, awful thing.
    I love to read...I read everywhere. However, once a book crosses the line into the bathroom, it stays there.
  • I had nine brothers....and our house had one bathroom
  • Because of fact #9, I decided to dedicate my life to proper manners related to the bathroom.
  • I have written two books which are unfortunately out of print. They were entitled "Dirty Hands, Evil Hands" and "Excuse Me, This Isn't a Zoo!"
  • To me, the two worse things to do in the bathroom are 1) not wash up afterwards 2) leave a nasty "tootsie roll" behind for the next occupant. Sweet mother of the throne, those things are an awful discovery.
  • I love my rocking chair.
  • My favorite color is yellow.
  • My favorite movie is, believe it or not, Lethal Weapon 2.
  • I think Dear Abbey is smug....as is that Bill O'Reilly
  • I have approx. 30 cats.
  • My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving
  • I can't stand any music but hair band music. Long live Dokken!!!
  • I drive a Trans Am much like that frisky Burt Reynolds drove in "Smokey and the Bandit".


There you have it. My life poured out into twenty items. I promise to answer many of your questions next time. Until then, word to your cousin.....

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