Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Weekends Were Made for Michelob

Weekends (especially summer weekends) are supposed to be easy going, lazy, napfests. Am I right???? My wife does not buy into my definition. She seems to think a weekend is when you "catch up" on things you don't get done during the week. Boy, is she wrong.

Unfortunately, last weekend ended up matching up to her definition more than mine. Permit me to elaborate. Notes: for the sake of this post, I am including Monday in the "weekend". I took Monday off, so it counts.


  • Our yard has been looking tall lately. The combination of rain, heat, and humid air has given our grass a growth spurt. So, when forced to acknowledge that the yard needed my attention...and that mowing early, before the heat, made sense, I proceeded to mow the part of the yard that could be mowed with the riding mower. 9:00-10:15 shot.
  • There is an older farming couple that go to the same church we go to. Over the last couple of years the husband has had double pneumonia...so it is hard for him to help with some of the more strenuous work. That coupled with Mrs. WHW's desire to help everyone in need set me up for a "fun" afternoon. You see, it was time to bale some hay. So, me and JLW ended up "on the farm" helping.


  • Sunday....the day of rest. First, taking everyone to church is challenging. Especially when you hear, at the other end of the pew, the tearing of a page from the hymnal.
  • After lunch, it was pointed out to me that I still hadn't push-mowed the remainder of the yard. While mowing I noticed a lot of places where some old fashioned weed pulling was overdue.


  • I needed to drive a couple hours for a business appointment. I had to meet someone at their house to discuss some work stuff. I arrived to a very nice house with a mega cool home-office in the basement. After about 3 hours of meeting, I started regretting the bran muffin I had at Starbucks earlier in the day (btw: Iced Green Tea at Starbucks is awesome). So, I excused myself to this person's immaculate bathroom.....and promptly....filled it to the rim. Then, upon flushing I noticed the toilet's water level rising to alarming levels. I immediately composed myself, turned on the bathroom's exhaust fan (to help conceal anything I needed to do that would produce noise) then looked around for my options. Obviously, I needed to plunge. However, the room had only the special brush...no plunger. Shit!!(literally). I looked in the bathroom closets, in the cabinet, under the sink, everywhere. No plunger. Who has a %$#& bathroom without a plunger?? So, in a MacGyver moment, I used the brush...shoving it into the "tunnel" of the toilet as far as I could without touching water, and started making a plunging motion. After about 15 seconds, the beast (toilet) took a breath, and the water receded.
  • On my drive home, I decided to stop at a Wendy's for a quick hamburger. Of course, upon arriving, I headed to the potty (did I mention the iced green tea is strong stuff??). After finishing, as I approached the sink, I saw the obligatory "Employees Must Wash Hands Prior To Returning To Work" sign. I then started washing my hands, only to find the soap dispenser completely dry....apparently dry for some time. Hmmmm. My mind began to analyze the significance of this discovery. Cutting to the chase, I ended up eating at the Dairy Queen next door.

I really hope next weekend is more traditional. However, I just received an email from JLW's swim coach....seems my name is on the list of volunteers for Saturday's big swim meet.
One of these days, Mrs. WHW, to da moon....pow!

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