Sunday, October 28, 2007

Vindication

Many at work and at home think I am a bit of a germ-a-phobe. In all honesty, I do have some pretty strict beliefs when it comes to hygiene and a person's health and well being.

For example, I refuse to eat on a table at work if a certain unnamed coworker has plopped his rear end down on it, treating it like his own butt scratcher. Only after applying a heavy dose of Germ-X will I place a plate on the table.

Also, any food or utensil hits the floor (especially at work) and it goes to the trash. Folks, I have seen the bathroom floors, and shoes that have walked there will have also walked where the food drops. And don't give me the 5 second rule. No, thanks.

Another oddity, I am horribly uncomfortable taking things back out of my trash can at work once something is tossed in. To quote the Sopranos, once its in the can, "It's dead to me". This one seems to conflict with my life long dream of being a garbage man. Go figure.

Finally, I am adamant at home that the kids take their own water to school, rather than drink out of the water fountains. I am convinced many of my school-age illnesses were pulled from school fountains. Having watched many an elementary school kid carp the spigot, I know those things are bacteria playgrounds.

As you might expect, most of my beliefs generate a lot of crap from my "friends". Well, I stand here tonight to say, "Suck it, friends". Check out what MSNBC and Health magazine have to say. Two very reputable news sources.

Some of my thoughts on specific items in the list
  • #1 - I use lots of Clorox Cleanup in and around the sink for this very reason
  • #2 - Having just flown this past week, I am 100% with you.
  • #3 - This was a shocker to me. Especially the underwear factoid. A gram of feces in each pair? Damn.
  • #4 - I told you!!!!!!
  • #5 - No brainer. I like how stores now provide antibacterial wipes near the cart area.
  • #6 - We need to return to the barter system.
  • #7 - No mention of a wallet....which typical sits in front of a man's flamethrower.
  • #8 - Reminds me of the local pool/stray poop incident I had a few years ago.
  • #9 - Once I was going back into a locker room after a work out. And sitting directly in front of my locker on the bench is a three hundred pound naked guy who appears to have just gotten out of the sauna. Just sitting there enjoying his newspaper. Not really sure why he had to be naked while reading the paper. Needless to say, I dried off and dressed standing up.
  • #10 - Why I hate baths...and refuse to follow many friends' peer pressure and pee while showering.
  • #11 - This and my aversion to work are reasons I usually don't answer my phone.
  • #12 - While I agree with this, I have to admit that I tolerate this one. TV is my friend, particularly on a trip. Friends have to be understanding of other friends.

So, after reading the list all I could think was...."Vindication is such a sweet dish"

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