Monday, October 06, 2008

"We have no more power, Captain" - Scotty

Last week, at on offsite work meeting at a local coffee shop, I complimented the establishment's toilet for its “power”. It had one of those pressurized tanks. And, yes, my coworkers somewhat understand my weirdness. Somewhat.

Well, over the weekend, my wife and I were in town and decided to stop by the same place for something to drink. Since my kids had devoured all the good cereals (Sugar Crisp, Quisp (yes, Quisp is still sold in some places), and Honey Nut Cheerios) I was "forced" to eat two bowls of Sam’s Club raisin bran for breakfast, prior to our trip into town. Note: Not so hidden message here: lots and lots of bran ingested.

As we sat in the establishment enjoying the ambiance, it hit….it being a code red gurgle”. Unlike the normal “2 minute warning” gurgle, this one told me I only had a few precious seconds to find a “haven”.

I power walked to the back of the establishment, and found a nice SOB (single occupancy bathroom). After what seemed like only 20 seconds.....20 intense seconds....I was able to begin the wrap-up phase of the visit. Unfortunately, it became apparent that I exceeded the toilet’s flushing capacity.

Being the concerned customer, I noticed a plunger nearby. I spent about 5-7 minutes alternating between plunging and flushing….with an occasional cursing of the plumbing, the plunger, the toilet, and the bran. Finally, I was able to dislodge all obstructions.

Upon returning to our table, my wife made it clear that....

1. She knew something happened in the bathroom

2. She had no interest in knowing what that something was


I guess my flushed appearance, duck-like walk, and grin told her all she needed to know.

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