- Place to do that thing you are supposed to do in there (number 1 and the deuce)
- Reading room
- Resting room
- Room to play Bejeweled
- Fortress of solitude
- watch TV (when staying at a hotel that is ultra cool and has a tv in the potty)
Note, one action I did not list is using the room to carry on a conversation on a cell phone. No no no no no no no.
Today, at work, as I sat in a stall taking care of purposes #1, #3, and #4, someone stepped into the stall next to me. After sitting down, they dialed someone on their cell phone and began an involved conversation.
I was in no mode for this.....so I decided to give him 3.5 minutes to chat and hang up. Unfortunately, since he was seemingly just getting started in the conversation after 5 minutes, I decided to take matters into my own hands. It didn't help that he was laughing loudly during the chat.....very annoying.
So, in retaliation, I began emitting the typical moans and grunts that a man struggling with a high fiber diet would typically create....only a bit louder (more pained) than is usual. Then, out of respect for the late Paul Harvey, I would pause for several seconds, offering the chatter a chance to gracefully end their conversation.
After a couple rounds of moans I heard him say, "no, that's not me". I almost fell of my throne laughing.
Then, after another round I heard him say, "look, I am going to have to call you back".
Check and mate, ass wipe.
No one crosses me in my domain......no one.