- Place to do that thing you are supposed to do in there (number 1 and the deuce)
- Reading room
- Resting room
- Room to play Bejeweled
- Fortress of solitude
- watch TV (when staying at a hotel that is ultra cool and has a tv in the potty)
Note, one action I did not list is using the room to carry on a conversation on a cell phone. No no no no no no no.
Today, at work, as I sat in a stall taking care of purposes #1, #3, and #4, someone stepped into the stall next to me. After sitting down, they dialed someone on their cell phone and began an involved conversation.
I was in no mode for this.....so I decided to give him 3.5 minutes to chat and hang up. Unfortunately, since he was seemingly just getting started in the conversation after 5 minutes, I decided to take matters into my own hands. It didn't help that he was laughing loudly during the chat.....very annoying.
So, in retaliation, I began emitting the typical moans and grunts that a man struggling with a high fiber diet would typically create....only a bit louder (more pained) than is usual. Then, out of respect for the late Paul Harvey, I would pause for several seconds, offering the chatter a chance to gracefully end their conversation.
After a couple rounds of moans I heard him say, "no, that's not me". I almost fell of my throne laughing.
Then, after another round I heard him say, "look, I am going to have to call you back".
Check and mate, ass wipe.
No one crosses me in my domain......no one.
6 comments:
OH MY goodness! That is absolutely HYSTERICAL! You truly are the KING of all things Potty!
Thanks for the laugh this morning- you are a HOOT!
Oh how FUNNY!!! And how BRILLIANT - I would have never thought of that. You rock!
ROFLOL Well, maybe the person ButtMunch was talking to will have something to say to them later about calling them from a TOILET! lol You rock!
Brilliant!!! Unfortunately it wouldn't have been an act with me. Exactly why I go potty where no on else expects me to.
Just as an FYI: basement potties offer little to no cell phone coverage. At least that's what my blackberry says when I'm playing brickbreaker...
*head-desk* OMG, you are the ONLY person I know who would actually do this...well, other than my father, were he still alive.
Not that I doubt that you did it - I'm quite sure you did. And not that you're wrong in principle - people should not talk on the phone in the bathroom and they should especially not START A CALL in the bathroom.
But...dude. *head-desk* That sort of thing would NEVER happen in the women's bathrooms. I'm just sayin'.
I would like to thank everyone for their "support".
Shannon, thanks for the "toilet crown". Dory, it has been years (45+) since it was suggested that I was brilliant. G, like the term buttmunch...I plan to use it. Chris, brickbreaker is a great game. CL....oh, CL. My buddy, CL. I have come to expect your multi-sentence "weird". Thanks foe not disappointing.
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